Need You Now
by Mariss95
Summary: Songfic/Oneshot. My shot at a story after 2X24. Centered on Castle/Beckett relationship


**Disclaimer:** Don't own the show Castle or any of it's characters. this is just made for fun and to make my happy ending out of 2X24

**A/N:** kay, this is my first Castle fanfic! It's actually a songfic, inspired by the amazing song "_Need You Now_" by Lady Antebellum. I strongly recommend you to listen to it before you read this, so as to have an idea of how it all goes. So, it's divided in 5 parts, but prefered it to be a oneshot so i would oblige myself to finish the whole thing up before i started posting it, cuz otherwise i would probably leave it hanging on for some time (like whats happening with my other stories). A couple more facts you should know before reading:

**1. **I know Castle doesnt exactly says "Goodbye Detective" before leaving, but felt like he should have. And also, very important, in my fic Kate doesnt ask him if he will come back in the fall, so during the first 3 parts she thinks he wont come back.

**2.** As you read it may sound like i dont want these two together, but i really, really, **really** do! Just thought it would be good to get into their minds and see them struggle witht heir feelings and what they think the other is thinking.

**3. **Hope you enjoy it! And please (pretty please!) review! Feedback is really apreciated! And i would also want to know if you would like me to write a sequel to this story. As in how their relationship will be like after this happens, and how the rest of the people will react, etc.

xo, L

* * *

**Need You Now**

_And I wonder if I ever cross your mind?_

_For me it happens all the time_

_And I don't know how I can do without._

_I just need you now_

"_Goodbye Detective"_

With that, Castle turned round and walked away, his ex-wife tugged by his side, his arm circling her tiny waist.

Kate watched in disbelief, speechless. She had always been a woman of many words, with quick witty retorts that left even the most ruthless criminals astonished. Those were the clever sharp words that she used to shut Castle up, as a come back to his flirtatious ones. But this time, she had none. And she was certain it was because of him, for being fool enough to put her walls down and let him in, or at least intend to. Deep down inside she knew when she broke up with Demming that this was a mistake. That nothing good could come up from her and Castle together, in a non-professional relationship. But who was she kidding? Her relationship with Castle had always been deeper than what it should have, than what it seemed.

For once in her life she had chosen to follow her heart instead of her brain, listening to what others thought she should do with Rick. And as she had always known, her heart's decisions never led to anything good. Her being a train-wrack after her mother's murder and a sobbing mess after things with Will hadn't gone as she had hoped were proofs of it. But no, she had to let herself feel again to realize she had been right on the first place.

Since they had met, Kate had dreamed of how her life would be if Castle chose her. And when she realized he had, she freaked out. At first she had thought that having him shadowing her was going to be a nightmare, and some times it was. Yet, apart from him being helpful in investigations, with time she realized that having him around made her day easier, more fun. Ever since she had embraced having him pulling on her pigtails she realized she laughed more, enjoyed stuff that had found boring before: he turned rut into an adventure. With him around she felt more alive, complete. And because of that she had been letting him in, step by step, up to this point in which she had opened herself completely up. And what had he done? Just ignore it and go away with one of his trophy girls.

Kate realized she had screwed up big time. As she watched his partner get on the elevator with Gina and leave the precinct, she felt like a dagger was being plunged into her heart. Her vision clouded and a feeling of dizziness spread through her body. She was breaking down.

Kate knew she needed to break down, but also knew she couldn't do that at work, when she was bad-ass Detective Beckett. Still, the tears forming in her eyes were threatening to run down her face, and she had no strength left to hold them back. Looking down to the floor she let her hair cover her face, so as the guys couldn't see her melt down, over Rick Castle. She sighed trying to regain composure and go back in there, pretending nothing had happened and she was alright, but her heart was winning the battle against reason, again. She dried the tears with her hand and walked away.

* * *

Stupid, idiotic, sentimental ass! Why had she thought he would feel the same? He was renowned writer/womanizer Richard freaking Castle! And what was she? Just a plain homicide detective with a whole lot of baggage from the past. Sure he had been interested in her… as a muse. But what could he get from those five dollar prostitutes he liked to call ex-wives that he couldnt get from her? She laughed at her own reflection as the answer struck her: love and commitment.

She wasn't ready to give him neither of them. Hell, she wasn't even sure what she felt for the man! Had just realized she felt something for him, something deep. But, how deep? He knew lots of things about her, even more she intended him to; because he read right through her. He had that way to sneak into her private life, get to know stuff that nobody knew without her even articulating a word.

She smiled weakly at herself as memories of the cases they shared together kept popping up on her head. God, the man hadn't even been gone for an hour and she was already missing him!

Someone knocked at the door but she didn't even bother to reply. Lanie poked her head around it and entered the bathroom slowly; afraid she would scare Kate off. But as she saw her girl nodding she let herself in and reached her side.

Kate looked at the floor and tried to bottle her feelings up, but failed. She was shattered, heart broken. The walls surrounding her were down and destroyed, leaving her defenseless, unprotected: _needed_.

Lanie stood still by her side, giving her a moment. Gathering it together, Kate looked up and met her gaze. Her eyes were glistering, as new tears had formed in them.

"_He's gone, Lanie"_

_

* * *

_

A buzzing sound reached his ears. It was annoying, to say the least. Was it Gina complaining? No, she had already left two days ago… well, not as much as left as to be kicked out because she wouldn't stop whining about his need to finish the book: that god damned book that was driving him crazy. He had already delayed the delivery of the first draft, _twice_, and as a consequence Gina had cornered him in his Hampton's house and practically chained him to his desk. Finishing _Naked Heat _should be his primal task, but ever since he had left the bullpen there had been only one thing on his mind: _Beckett_.

The main point of his getaway was to get her out of his head and focus on writing, but how could he when his book was about her? He knew Nikki wasn't Kate, but still couldn't quite write the character without her in mind.

The ringing kept upsetting him, so he tried to paid attention to it instead. Opening his eyes he tried to come round and make out where he was. After blinking numerous times the blur disappeared and his surrounding became familiar. Pulling at the lever of his chair, it straightened up throwing him forward. Unluckily for him, the combination of that speed and the ten shots of whiskey he had had that night made him feel dizzy, reaching for the rim of his desk for support. Rays of light came from the studio's windows together with a warm morning breeze.

God, he felt terrible. Despite having been wasted or asleep most of the week he had been there, he still hadn't gotten used to it. After his college years he had stopped drinking in excess, as he had no reason to want to wake up without remembering what had happened the night before. But as a consequence of leaving Kate Beckett out of his life, the old habit was back. His daily routine went from sleeping to eating whatever crap he could find in the kitchen (mostly whipped cream), drinking and then writing; in that order. Hence the book was less witty and more angsty.

The phone stopped ringing and his head pain normalized, enabling him to think. However, that's the last thing he wanted these days. Each time he allowed himself to think of Kate the idea of her and Demming kissing and touching each other popped out and with it the urge to throw up. He still couldn't believe how she had chosen that guy. He was just like her, just like Will had been. Had she not understood his Ying-Yang theory? She needed harmony, balance: she _needed_ him! Not some new tough guy that carried a badge and a gun. She didn't need protection, she needed to laugh and feel free. But the most crucial of them: she needed to know what she needed.

Kate was at ease with having a rut, a safety zone, and ever since he had met her it had been his goal to get her out of it, make her experience new things: live life without hesitation. But the harder he worked, the more she pushed him aside. And despite all her attempts to hold him back, he fell for her hard.

He picked his cell phone. Had three missed calls, four text messages and two voice mails from Alexis. Ever since he had left New York she had called him every morning to know if he was okay. He pressed the erased button without even reading them and sent her the same lie he had been repeating to everyone, including himself: _I'm alright_. The truth was he wasn't, he was in denial. Staring at his phone all he could think of was calling her. With just two clicks he could get to hear her voice; that sweet addictive voice that hunted him even in his sleep. He fought against it as he knew she would be busy, and instead settled with looking at the few photos of her he had managed to take with his phone. Those wear of them at the precinct, with Ryan and Esposito, making some coffee or just sitting at her desk: just casual photos of their daily routine. But still, she looked breathtaking in every one of them. Her square jaw, marked cheekbones, thin lips, silky skin, and the pool of emotion that were her eyes: she was the perfect woman; way too perfect for him.

To distract himself he turned the attention to the laptop in front of him; and in it, to a frightening blank Word document. After several attempts to find inspiration, he had managed to write up to chapter fifteen, in which Nikki was cornered up between two men: Schlemming and Rook. Eight hours had passed since he had last written something, and erased it afterwards. That's how he had spent the past two days. He couldn't come up with something for this chapter without erasing it after. It all felt so wrong, so out of character.

While writing _Heat Wave _whenever he had writer's block he would think "_What would Detective Beckett do?_", and normally the answer to that question made him imagine what Nikki would do in the book when facing a dilemma. However, when the answer didn't please him, he turned to his imagination and own desire and wrote how he would want Nikki to act, especially towards Rook. That had proven to be successful in the previous book in terms of Rook's and Nikki's relationship, because despite her being resentful toward their characters being romantically involved, everyone else had found it genius; including "_The New York Times"_. But deep down inside he knew and she did too that that move wasn't made for the sake of the book but as a consequence of common sense.

Still here he was again, his mind completely blank, with not even a clue on how to finish the book. Nikki had a decision to make, one she had been pushing away for a long time: choose Schlemming or Rook. Common sense screamed Schlemming but everything else in her craved for Rook. She had been going over it for so long, even writing down the pros and cons of picking each of them. But no matter what she did still couldn't help but wonder: what if she didn't think and just acted?

And that was as far as he had gotten. Up from there he had thought of two choices: either Nikki would close herself up again and settle with normal or she would roll the dice and take a shot on being happy. He wanted her to pick the second option, but when he managed to write it down it just all sounded so stupid, senseless.

She didn't deserve a guy like Rook. Sure, he made her life interesting, but she didn't have anything to assure her he was going to stay after she gave in. Neither his past nor his present acts made him trustworthy, and that scared the crap out of her. With Schlemming she knew what she was going to get, but with Rook it was like jumping of a plain without knowing if the parachute worked.

All the same, when he wrote the version of her choosing the perfect police officer it was so dull. Her life was back to how it used to be, with a good looking cop by her side. After the decision was made, Rook walked away and the story was over. He knew it could go on, but if Nikki and Jameson wouldn't be together at the end, what was the point anyway?

He sighed in defeat and walked to the bar. Drinking some more wouldn't be a good idea but at least it would soothe the pain, and maybe, hopefully, make him stop thinking of how Kate's getaway with Tom had gone.

* * *

Kate kept pacing around her living room. She looked at the clock again: 1:13 AM. The city was quiet, asleep, as she should be. She rubbed her forehead and tried to clear her head. Unable to do that, she refilled her glass and downed the wine in just one gulp. Not even alcohol could take her mind of Castle. Kate had tried sleeping, working till exhaustion, playing crosswords, making puzzles, tidying her room, even rearranging her kitchen supplies; but none of them had been successful. That's how she had ended drinking a whole bottle of the finest wine she could find, past midnight, in the darkness of her living room.

Silence filled the room, giving her the chance to think. And unfortunately all she could think of was Rick, his hands, lips, tongue. No, Katie! She stopped dead in her track of thought and shut her eyes tightly, erasing every scenario of her and Rick together, in any kind of way. He was gone, and probably wasn't going to come back, and she was ok with it... or at least trying to convince herself of it. Seeking for a distraction she turned the radio on and searched for decent music, but romantic songs were playing on them all. She jumped from _"You and Me"_ by Lifehouse to _"Total Eclipse of the heart"_ by Bonnie Tyler, then _"I'll Be"_ from Edwin McCain and finally _"Kiss Me"_ by Sixpence None The Richer. Angrily she turned the damn thing off and let herself fall on the couch. It was as if the whole world had turned against her, because every single thing reminded her of him.

Rick had been gone for a week, and hadn't even called once. He was surely busy playing with his manager/flavor of the week girl. That was definitely the last thing she wanted to be thinking about right now. The bullpen had been so quite and serious since his departure. Not even Ryan or Esposito made jokes about them anymore; they didn't even mention him around her. Although she hadn't exactly cried in front of them, they knew she wasn't taking Rick's leaving for the best.

When Kate had managed to recover over being stood up by him, she had put her guard up again. At work she was extremely professional, her expression was dead cold and there was no irony left in her words. She was as efficient as always, but looked like a robot. Given her situation, Lanie and the guys had been concerned but knew that a direct approach wasn't going to work with Beckett, so they had just let her be and waited till she was ready to talk.

Beckett knew she was better off Castle, but Kate kept screaming at her detective part to wake up and realize he was what she needed to be happy. Opening her eyes she spotted the phone, just inches away from her hands. It took all of her will power not to reach out and dial his number. She had the hope that with just hearing his voice it would be the end of the sleepless nights of dreaming about him; of fantasizing about his sultry voice whispering haughtily at her ear how much he wanted her; of his arms sliding around her waist, pressing their bodies together; of his strong hands cupping her face and those dangerous lips on top of hers…

A shiver race down her spine and she gasped for air as the thoughts became daydreams that kept replaying on her mind, over and over again. She had the hots for Castle! Maddy had been right, just Kate hadn't been objective enough to see it. It just didn't make sense, at all. Even if he was her favorite author and wrote fantastic books, he was extremely immature and reckless. Still, she had fallen for him.

Suddenly a loud thud broke the silence, followed by some noisy footsteps that ended just outside her flat's door. Beckett's hand flew instantly to her belt, as if to grab her gun. But wearing only her pajama she had nothing to protect herself with. Her police instinct took over and she flew to her room and grabbed her gun, then quietly made her way up to the door and listened carefully: silence. Her hand curled the knob. She swallowed hard and swung the door open, aiming in front of her.

"_Ah! Don't shoot! Don't shoot!"_

"_Castle?_"

* * *

Kate led him inside and walked up to the couch. _What was he doing here? Now apart from seeing right throw her, did he read her mind?_

Rick walked behind her, his hands in the pockets of the jacket, and his eyes glued to her body and her lack of clothing. Kate Beckett stood in front of him, only wearing white shorts and a loose grey shirt. She looked like she had just woken up, with her hair tied up in a messy bun on top of her head and dark circles under her eyes; but still, she was incredibly beautiful; even more stunning than how she was in the pictures. An awkward silence filled the room until she decided to break the ice.

"_Want something to drink?"_

"_Sure"_

Kate moved towards the kitchen and grabbed another glass and a new bottle of wine. She knew she was going to need it. Being alone with him, at her house, in the middle of the night, after having fantasized about them was definitely not a good idea. She filled both glasses, walked to his side and gave him the fullest one. Hell, if she was going to do what she had been planning to just mere minutes before he'd better be really drunk. She gestured him to the couch and he obeyed. She took the place next to him, closer than what they were used to. Another long uncomfortable pause set in as they both sipped from their wineglasses.

"_So, already back in the city? What happened Castle, you got homesick?_"

"_No, the book is almost finished and I thought of coming back for a couple of days. Had too many sun for my taste_."

"_Really? Don't look like you had any._"

He chocked and coughed to cover it up. _Busted!_ For being an incredibly good liar she had caught up with his bullshit quite fast. Kate chuckled and looked away. _God, he was adorable!_ Minutes passed as they both drunk in silence. Both were filled with words unspoken, unable to find a way to speak up their thoughts without sounding insane.

Rick knew it was easy. He could just say those three words, eight letters that expressed everything he felt for her, but also knew it would scare her off forever. Besides, she was with Demming. What the hell was he thinking when he had caught that plane to NY and drove to her apartment? Yeah right, he was drunk. Didn't matter how bad he wished it, Rick knew that dream of her running to his arms and kissing him passionately was just that: a dream. He glanced over at her after what felt like an eternity. _Wrong call, Ricky, _he thought as his eyes met hers.

After downing her glass Kate found no other distraction to keep her mind off the man sitting next to her. She promised herself it was just going to be a little peek at his face, to see what he was thinking; but the second she laid her eyes on him she regretted it. _Crap! _His dark blue eyes were burning her with his stare, and all her self-control vanished. She craved for him, his touch, his warm, even if that came along with his childlike personality. Her vision clouded with desire as her body was pushing her to do what she had wanted to since they had met. She crossed her legs and let her knee brush against his leg lightly. Rick got the indirect and smiled his signature smirk.

He was in on it. Kate smiled proud of herself for making the first step, but her grin turned devilish as a new thought crossed her mind: _Might as well make him work for it_. His eyes started to roam down her face, up to her lips, and then continued their way down to her legs.

"_So, Castle_" She snapped to gain his attention "_Why are you here?_"

"_I'm homesick_"

"_Yeah, I know that. I was asking what you were doing here, as in my apartment. As far as I know you live in a two story palace, not on a crappy rented flat_"

Rick leaned forward, leaving their faces just inches apart. "_Well, Detective, I've been missing you as well, if that's what you're asking_" His breath filled her nostrils, dazzling her for some seconds. Putting herself together she replied trying to keep the game going, though she would just rather end the foreplay and take him right then and there.

"_Really? That's the best pick up line you can come up with, Castle? Then I don't really understand how you convinced Gina to take you back_"

"_Rick. You can call me Rick, Kate_"

"_And you can call me Beckett, Castle"_

"_And by the way, I didn't ask her to take me back. I may be flawed, Detective, but I never make the same mistake twice. And believe me, Gina, she's a big ugly mistake nobody wants to make."_

"_Well, you didn't seem to mind spending some alone time with her on the beach"_

Rick's face turned with disgust and anger as he replayed that last week in his head. It seemed impossible that he had been so miserable only hours ago and now was overjoyed.

"_What happened, Rick? Couldn't convince her to play with you?"_

"_Not quite, Detective, just had other things in my mind." _This was the moment. She could just slap him and throw him out of her house, but at least he would know he had tried. Rick stretched his arm and rested his free hand gently over her knee. Kate shivered due to the new skin contact and balanced her options: Either shove him off or embrace the chance and go with the flow. She met his gaze again and got caught out of breath. His eyes were lighter than usual, still lustful but with a deeper intention.

"_I've missed you_ _too, Kate, for real. Thought you should know."_

_Why did he have to do that?_ Right when she was in control, setting boundaries, he took them down and sneaked into her head, making her only want him. Right now she didn't want to feel like Detective Katherine Beckett, always in charge and restricted, she just wanted to be Kate, letting others take care of her, love her. His look was so honest and trustworthy she just couldn't balance options anymore. In one quick motion she closed the space between them and crashed her lips against his. Rick got caught off guard, not expecting her next move, but reciprocated the kiss with all the passion he had been holding up for her. The kiss grew deeper as an unknown feeling took over them, drawing their bodies closer. Soon, his hands were on her sides, pulling her as near as he could manage to. Instead she leaned back and broke every contact they had.

Proud of herself, Kate ended the kiss, planning to leave it like that, giving the word "_teaser_" a whole new meaning. She glanced at his face and failed to fight a chuckle. Castle's expression was hilarious, if he had just rolled his tongue to the floor he would had looked exactly like _The Mask_. The little passion that was barely noticeable in his eyes before was now all over his face. Still, Kate could see a hint of sadness for the contact lost.

Scared of her reaction he stroked her cheek with his thumb and smiled kindly at her. It only took two seconds to her cheeks to turn to a nice reddish tone, making her feel like a stupid fifteen-year-old all over again. Her Beckett side kept telling her he did that with every woman, so she shouldn't feel special. But how could she when Rick was looking at her that way? The rational thing to do was to say a snarky comment to make him feel out of place, and then inviting him to leave. Still, all rational thoughts had evaporated with just one touch, and one kiss.

Kate stood up and stretched her arm, inviting him to follow her. He looked at her to find any hint of it being a joke, but came clear. Kate looked determined and open, finally letting him in all the way. He took her hand and stood up by her side. Interlacing their fingers she started making her way to the bedroom but was cut short as Castle stopped dead on his track. Her face clouded with confusion as she turned around to see what his problem was.

Rick Castle, womanizer, stood in front of her, but didn't remotely look as he used to. He wasn't the unnerving immature ass that tended to make her feel uncomfortable at work, or the wild irresponsible man that violated police protocol in a daily basis: right now he was just a man, scared of being rejected, of making mistakes, of hurting _her_. She couldn't help but smile at this nice side of him she got to rarely see and then nodded encouraging to proceed. Pulling at his hand she led him to the side of her bed and brushed her lips ever so slightly over his. Carefully, Rick snaked an arm around her waist and pulled her closer, drowning on her scent and taste. All those days of dreaming of this moment and now it had come true. He explored every part of her body he could get his hands on and she responded pressing herself to his chest.

There were lots of cons of taking this leap, and Kate knew them all, but still couldn't resist the temptation of giving it a try. Even if things weren't going to be the same, she knew it was worth it. The mess, she could clean it up later. Right now all she could think of was making love to Richard Castle, the man she loved.

_Yes, __I'd rather hurt than feel nothing at all_


End file.
